Some have suggested that my friend, Mahmoud is one of the worlds losers, naturally unlucky, bound to fail and a man whose life can be used as a yardstick against which to measure ones own endeavours in order to cast them in a better light.
Mahmoud's humus shop burned down twice. He squirted super-glue into his eye thinking it was eye ointment and if you think that that in itself was unlucky, what are the chances of having a tube of super-glue, sufficiently similar in size and texture to be mistaken for your eye ointment, lying within arms reach on your bedside cabinet?
Mahmoud makes the best humus in the world and he told me his secret. Unfortunately, it hasn't done me much good. I have never been able to make humus which even comes close to his. I now believe that Mahmoud is simply gifted and taking into account that no-one can ever be perfect, his bad luck is merely the flip-side of the coin which is human nature, a reminder, lest we be dazzled by the scale of his achievements, of his mortality. And here we realise he is not alone, when we think of other great artistic achievers whose lives were also coloured by more than a hint of tragedy. Vincent Van Gogh, Ludwig Beethoven, Brian Jones, Big Shug McGinty the spray-painter (who used to live down our street) and many others.
Mahmoud's secret is this. Add a little baking soda to the chickpeas, while they are cooking, to soften them. I have heard it said that baking soda breaks down the vitamins in food and this is probably true. Pre-prepared humus is often advertised as containing no baking soda. But it doesn't taste as good. My advice is enjoy your humus. Get your vitamins somewhere else.
The last time I visited Mahmoud's shop, he was absent and the place looked in serious danger of burning down a third time. Mahmoud was out and two rather self-important Egyptian guys, growing impatient at having to wait, had fired up the gas burner below a huge pan of oil and were trying to figure out how to scoop up the falafal mixture and get it into the pan. Mahmoud's teenage assistant just looked on in horror, powerless to intervene in the activities of such high-level operators in the local community.
Here's my hummus recipe, for what it's worth.
When the chickpeas are cool, mash them with a potato masher - it's hard work and the resulting hummus would probably be much better if a food processor was used, but it's something I've never owned. When you've done the chickpeas, turn to the tahina (or tahini or tahin, whatever you call it). put 3 dessertspoons into a bowl,add a little water (about 2 dessertspoons) and beat it with a fork. At first the water won't mix with the tahina but soon it will and the mixture will stiffen. Add some more water and beat. Keep doing this until you have a nice smooth runny tahina sauce. (This sauce, by the way, is delicious pured on boiled vegetables, veggie burgers etc.)
Now you can throw everything together and mix it well. Crush the garlic with the flat of a knife and then chop it roughly before adding it. Put the mixture in a clean bowl, pack it down and smooth the top with a knife. Garnish it with some paprika powder or chopped fresh corriander. Leaving your humus in the fridge for a few hours before serving will make it taste better.
Can't be bothered with all the Hassle? Try lazy humus salad.