'Penny Dainties' - a short story by Ashy Macbean

Penny dainties

Ah wiz jist sittin the other day an ah startit thinkin aboot aw the things ye hud when ye wur a kid an ye wonder where thae ur noo. An a startit wonderin what happened tae penny dainties. Kin ye still get them? An if ye can, ah mean, they'll no be the same. Ah remember them changin even when ah wiz a kid - maybe it wiz wi the new money. Now that wiz a long time ago, eh?

Whit changed? Well, Ah canny remember exactly but they were mair expensive fur sure. That's mental, eh? Penny dainties bein mair expensive. Eh, but... Ye expect that oot o life. The things that are great when yer young an innocent don't seem that amazin when you're aulder. An if they dae... well, some basdart'll soon make them so they don't fit your nostalgic dream.

An Ah'm sure penny dainties got smaller as well. Imagine that, eh? A thrupenny penny dainty that's weer than the penny wan wiz. But that's how it goes intit? Naebdy notices, an then they laugh at ye fur bein an auld moanin bastart. Eye lookin backwards. But then, ye canny trust anythin fae yer memory. Ah remember the beach at Kintyre bein giant and it wiz actually tiny when we went back and it wizny that long efter, either. Ha! Ah remember ma cock bein tiny as well - an it really wiz. Aw shrivelled an frozen wi the cauld water. Tiny it wiz. Ah remember gettin telt later at school that it would suddenly grow bigger wan day. Ah waited and ah waited, an it did grow like, but just no as big as ah thought. Ah goat aw the hair mind.... Anyways...But the beach? Naw, wan minute it's this giant paradise, the next it's this tiny, scabby wee thing, aw covered in shite. But it wiznae the beach - ken? Ah mean, it stayed the same. It's us that change. Bigger expectations mibbe. An if yer expectations are bigger, then the beach is weer, eh, no? Stands tae reason, but. Ah don't know. Everythin's like that - ye get telt it's aw gonny be sorted when ye get aulder an it's no. Everythin's a bit easier, sure. Ye get it aw under control. Except ye loose sae much as well. An ye dont want tae get auld. Naebody does. No ever.

So, did Ah say aboot the penny dainty and the fillin? Probably didny. It's been a long time an probably no worth anythin, but here Ah've been bangin oan aboot everythin bein better when yer a kid. Except the dainty that took mah fillin oot.Ye ken how chewy they ur, an this wan just pult ma fillin right oot. But that wisny what wiz bad aboot it. Takin the fillin oot, ah mean. Thing is, it wizny sair. Ah didny feel much - except ah could stick ma toungue in the hole and it felt huge. Naw, the worst wiz that a wanted tae finish the dainty an Ah kept crunchin oan the wee bits o fillin. Yuk! Eh?

Thing is, ye remember aw these things fae before, just like it was yesterday, but who else remembers, eh? Who else can collaborate what your sayin, an how dae you know it aw really happened like ye remember? Ah suppose it doesny really matter, but. It happened how it happened and ye canny change that. But the memories are what ye have now an if they're good, what's the problem? Does that no just mean ye get everythin, then?